Among the numerous wonders that populate medieval imaginaries, perhaps the most unusual is the one that happened to the good bishop Yves and his wine: out of revenge for condemning her to drowning, old Aicelina cursed his wine. The finest wine in the Christian world is now nothing but goat’s piss. Its dreadful taste can only be saved by young goat cheese made from the milk of a very special white goat, but there will be no cheese until the noble animal is in heat. Thus, to restore the light of his life, the bishop must find the right goat. A mission of goat suitors searches for him where Latin culture meets Slavic and pagan beliefs. But what if the truth is actually different? Deceptions ensure that the world spins in the right direction. Sometimes, they even contribute to organizing the chaos into (pagan) order, which celebrates the cyclicality of nature. At the beginning of the fourteenth century, the first in a series of seven popes moved the Holy See to Avignon. History claims it was mainly due to the political interests of the French court. Probably true. Or did the center of the universe shift because of the best wine in the Christian world?